5 Secrets to Being a Modern Gentleman

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Body positivity advocate, style influencer, author, and model Kelvin Davis of the Notoriously Dapper blog is a man on a mission to encourage self-love. After a shopping trip that left a bad taste in his mouth, Kelvin vowed to himself never to feel insecure or ashamed of his size again. And to push the fashion industry to be more inclusive of all body types, genders, and races. Kelvin spreads his positivity through his blog and his 2017 book Notoriously Dapper: How to be A Modern Gentleman. He lives this message in his daily life, inspiring everyone worldwide to simply love themselves by finding and embracing their beauty within. Read on and be inspired by Kelvin Davis to be the best modern gentleman.


“The Art of being a gentleman has changed throughout the decades. There was a time when men just dressed the part, and they were considered gentlemen. In the modern day, being a gentleman has a lot less to do with how you dress and more with how you act/treat people. Here I will give you my 5 Secrets to Being a Modern Gentleman; after all, I did write an entire book about how to be one.”

1. Be Considerate

This goes very far in life. Be considerate of others’ time, feelings, and circumstances. Consideration can also be applied to yourself, be considerate of how you’re feeling and how your mood/attitude can affect a situation. It’s okay not to go to that holiday party/event because you’re in a bad mood. You’re being considerate of yourself and others by taking time for yourself. 

2. Stay Positive/Be Kind

This life is filled with a lot of negativity and it will get to you as much as you let it. I know it sounds cliche, but you can control what energy is around you. If something negative happens, understand that without the negative, there can be no positive. Everything is temporary, so try not to get into your feelings so much about what’s happening at the moment. Understand that this, too, shall pass, and you will find a way out at the end. Be kind to everyone. You never know what another person is struggling with internally. 

3. Work Hard/Be Motivated

Working hard is essential to success in any field of life. Whether it be your career, relationship, or hardship. You have to work hard and be motivated. The best way to do this is to find habits that work for you. Getting up at 4:30 am and hitting the gym doesn’t work for everyone. Maybe you’re more of a 9:00 am person. That’s fine. Don’t let others’ ways of being successful fool you out of your own way to success. It looks different for everyone. No matter how you do it, just make sure you do it well and do it consistently.

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4. Stay True/Be Yourself

This should be a no-brainer, but sometimes it’s a lot easier said than done. Being who you are is the top secret to being a modern gentleman. The reason is that if you are yourself, you can consistently show up as yourself. When you start to do things for approval/affirmation, you risk not only losing who you are but also risk not being consistent. Staying true to yourself is the easiest way for you to continue to be the best version of yourself.

5. Self-love

The most kept secret to being a modern gentleman is self-love. Many men don’t want to talk about emotions, let alone how they might feel insecure. News flash, men do suffer from body image issues, and we do compare ourselves to the societal standard of masculine beauty. This is just as toxic for men as it is for women. Having self-love reassures you that YOU are good enough. That YOUR body is great the way it is. A reminder to everyone out there: SELF-LOVE IS A NECESSITY. Be grateful for what your body can do for you rather than how it looks. We are not supposed to look the same. That’s what makes us YOU-nique (see what I did there).

Words by Kelvin Davis of Notoriously Dapper


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