DON'T MISS A THING

After five babies and four returns to work (with number five coming up in just two weeks!), I can tell you one thing with absolute certainty: each transition is unique, and they all tested my sanity. When I first returned to work after my eldest was born in 2016, I thought I had it all figured out. Four kids later, I’m still learning! But with each return, I’ve refined my strategy, and I’m here to share every hard-earned lesson.

According to recent studies, 82% of first-time mothers return to work within a year of giving birth, and 61% feel anxious about the transition. As someone who’s balanced a full-time career with five little ones ages eight and under (yes, you read that right), I’ve made every mistake so you don’t have to. Let’s dive into what really works – tested and proven through multiple maternity leaves.

Planning Your Return to Work

The key to a successful return? Planning. But not the rigid, everything-must-go-perfectly kind of planning. Trust me, with five kids, I’ve learned the hard way that flexibility is crucial.

Here’s what actually works:

• Start planning early. There are several major decisions to be made, and starting to research and make these decisions early can help.
  • What type of childcare arrangement will you be using? (more on this below)
  • How will you be feeding the baby, breastfeeding / pumping or formula feeding? This will dictate what baby gear you need to have ready for baby at their childcare and for you at work (pumps, nursing bras, travel coolers, etc)

• Outline your daily schedule for you and baby. Start with your work start time and plan your way backwards to map out your schedule (I share mine as an example below) and the baby’s schedule, such as their morning wake time and feeding times. 
• Do a “dry run” week. One week before your return date, practice your entire routine. Wake up at work time, get dressed, pack bags, and drive to your childcare location. Time everything. My first return? I was rushed and late, and stressed three days in a row because I hadn’t factored in enough time to get us out the door on time.
• Set up your support system early. With baby #4, I created a shared Google calendar with my husband, nanny, and backup caregivers. Everyone knew the plan, and more importantly, their role in it.
• Think outside the box to find solutions. What’s tougher than suddenly going back to work and having your baby in childcare each day? Having to travel for work soon after returning. With my 3rd baby, I had to be at a 4 day conference my second week back from leave, and I simply wasn’t ready to be away from my baby for that long. So I bought my mom a plane ticket and brought both her and the baby along on my work trip. They hung out in the hotel while I worked during the day, and it eliminated all of the anxiety I had about being away from the baby so soon. 

The biggest mistake I see new moms make is trying to return to their pre-baby schedule immediately. It won’t work. Your life has changed fundamentally – embrace it and adjust accordingly.

Childcare Arrangements and Backup Plans

For me, figuring out childcare plans has been one of the greatest challenges of planning for my returns to work. The stakes are extremely high to find safe and loving care. Not only that, it’s also emotionally draining to think about being away from your baby, and childcare can be extremely expensive. But with the right planning, this transition can be a smooth one for you.

Here are hard-earned lessons from mistakes I made (so that you don’t make them too!): 

• Don’t wait too long to get your baby enrolled if you’re going to use a daycare center, especially for a first child. 
  • Second and later children typically get grandfathered in with preferential enrollment at the same center, but getting in the first time can be challenging.
  • Some of the daycares I contacted for my first baby had over a 2 year wait list for infants! To be safe, start this process early. 
• Plan ahead for what you will do when your baby wakes up sick one morning and cannot attend daycare or your nanny share–because it will happen. 
  • Do you have a trusted loved one that doesn’t mind your baby’s germs that could come over and help you (thanks, Grandma!)? 
  • In my case, we don’t have family nearby that can help in this situation, so my husband and I switch off who has to call out of work to care for our child.
  • It’s a great idea to have multiple backup plans if possible
  • Talk to your manager about a flexible work-from-home arrangement for those day(s) if all else fails
• Ensure any nanny candidates are thoroughly vetted (and not just by a random person in your city’s Facebook mom group who commented that they’re great). 
• Recognize that maintaining an open mind is important; what works for your family now may not work forever, and it’s perfectly fine to adjust your arrangement as your work or family situation changes.

Whichever type of childcare you choose, there is no perfect solution, and there will always be tradeoffs. That being said, there are many ways to find loving, supportive care for your baby. 

Managing the Emotional Transition

The emotional transition of being away from my baby is probably the hardest part for me. Here’s what helps:

• Acknowledge whatever you’re feeling: I spent the entire last day of maternity leave crying my eyes out with baby #4, and I’m gearing up for a repeat in 2 weeks with my 5th on our final day of maternity leave. Let yourself feel all of these feelings and hug that baby tight! There is also a part of me that is looking forward to going back to work again so that I can wear real clothes, solve business problems, and get more socialization from other adults, and those feelings are perfectly ok too! 
• The car cry schedule: Give yourself 15 minutes in the car after drop-off to feel all the feelings, especially that first week. Set a timer. When it goes off, take three deep breaths and move into work mode. It sounds silly, but this structured emotional release helps.
• Photo updates throughout the day: Our daycare posts regular updates through a family app each day. I check them during my designated breaks from work, not randomly throughout the day which can be emotionally disruptive. Be sure to have your childcare provider send you updates, especially the first few days.
• End-of-day decompression: Take 5-10 minutes before picking up your baby to mentally transition from work mode to mom mode. Some days I sit in my car and just breathe.

Practical Tips for Working Moms

Let’s get into the nitty-gritty of what actually works. After doing this four times (soon to be five), I’m sharing my tried-and-tested system to stay organized once I’m back at work. 

Here are the most important elements of our routine that help make everything run smoothly:

• Have all bags and bottles planned, packed, and laid out the night before
• Wake up early to get yourself ready before the baby or other children wake up
• Review the week’s schedule every Sunday evening before the week begins

Morning Routine

• 5:30 AM: Wake up, pump if needed
• 5:45-6:30 AM: Quick shower and get myself ready for the day
• 6:30 AM: Baby wakes up
• 6:30-7:30 AM: The morning dance of getting everyone ready
• 7:30 AM: Out the door

Pro tip – I always wait to put my work clothes on until a minute or two before I walk out the door. Between feeding and caring for the baby plus juggling the morning rush with my older kids, the chance of getting spit up on my blouse or a sticky hand on my work pants is very high if I dress for work too early.

Evening Prep (This saves my mornings!)

• Clothes laid out for everyone
• Bags and backpacks packed and by the door
• Bottles prepped
• Lunch boxes ready
• Next day’s schedule reviewed with partner

Meal Prep Shortcuts

1. Weekend batch cooking 
2. Freezer meals ready for emergencies
3. Grocery delivery scheduled for Sundays
4. Fruit and vegetables cut and prepped in fridge for easy snacking or packing in lunches

To help reduce extra stress at home once you return to work, I also recommend taking on a decluttering project or two before you return to work to start off with a clean(er) slate.

Getting rid of extra “stuff” you don’t need for this season of life will help reduce the physical clutter in your home as well as the mental load of maintaining it. Your back-at-work self will thank you for tackling some clutter. 

Rebuilding Your Professional Momentum

Here’s something nobody talks about: returning to work after maternity leave can actually make you better at your job. Before having kids, I was worried that being a mom while growing my career would be a weakness professionally; I’ve since realized that being a mom is a strength. I’ve become incredibly efficient, a better delegator, and I’ve become very good at prioritizing. Moreover, as a people leader with direct reports, my empathy and patience has increased, making me a better manager.

My strategies for staying visible and valuable:

• Schedule quarterly career check-ins with your leader
• Document your wins in a folder to have handy for review time (or when you’re having a tough day at work and need a pick-me-up)
• Be strategic about which projects you take on
• Master the art of saying “no” professionally – saying “no” or “not right now”
• Focus on absolutely excelling at the few things that drive the majority of your performance in your role

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How early should I start preparing for my return to work? A: Start planning at least 2-3 months before your return date. You may need to start earlier if you need to find and hire a nanny or secure a daycare spot for your baby. From my experience with five kids, the earlier you start planning, the smoother the transition.

Q: What’s the hardest part of returning to work? A: For me, the emotional adjustment the first week is the hardest part of returning. Adjusting to the new routine can be challenging as well. After doing this four times, I’ve learned it gets easier once I get into the swing of things. 

Q: How do you handle last-minute childcare emergencies? A: We use full time daycare at a daycare center for our kids (pros and cons!). One of the benefits of that is no last-minute call outs by a babysitter or nanny, so we never face that particular emergency. However, when our kids are sick and cannot go to daycare, we’re completely scrambling, and we don’t have backup childcare nearby or family who can help us out at the moment. My husband or I switch off who has to adjust their work schedule and miss work that day. 

Q: Should I pump at work or switch to formula? A: This is entirely personal. For me, I have breastfed and pumped for each of my kids until they were at least a year old. This means many hours spent pumping and washing pump parts, even in hotel rooms, but for those of you who are wanting to continue breastfeeding and pumping but aren’t sure if you can, it’s absolutely possible. The most important thing is a healthy baby and a healthy mom. 

Q: How do you deal with mom guilt? A: It never completely goes away, but it gets more manageable. I focus on quality time over quantity and remember that my working helps provide opportunities for my children. When I get done working and on weekends, I’m 100% focused on my family, which makes that time more special and all about them.

Q: What’s the best childcare option? A: It completely depends on your situation. There are pros and cons of each approach, and what worked for one child or season of life doesn’t always work for another. I suggest researching all of the options (daycare center, in-home daycare, nanny, nanny share, babysitter, au pair, having family help out) to help figure out what may work best for your family. 

Wrapping Up

After five children and multiple returns to work, I can promise you this: you’re stronger than you think. Yes, returning to work is challenging, but with the right preparation and support system, you can not only survive but thrive. In two weeks, I’ll be walking this path again with baby #5, armed with years of experience and yet still learning.

Remember, every mom’s journey is different, and that’s perfectly okay. You’ve got this, mama!

More to Love!

Being a Working Mom: The Ultimate Juggling Trick
5 Hacks to Look Put Together as a New Mom