DON'T MISS A THING

Sex is an innate human subject that has long been whispered by many. But why? After all, it is an elemental part of life, and in fact where life itself begins. However, influenced from childhood, through life’s experiences, by beliefs and desires, people create all kinds of different opinions on sex. And to each their own when it comes to personal views, as long as they are healthy. We are not here to judge you or tell you how to feel about the topic, but rather just to simply talk about sex, as this is essential when it comes to protecting our sexual health.

According to The World Health Organization, the definition of sexual health is “a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social wellbeing in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction, or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected, and fulfilled.”

In the world of today, welbeight far advanced from past views on the topic, sex is still often considered taboo. And talking about love and intimacy often makes people’s anxiety skyrocket. However, we must keep talking, defining our relationships, and pursuing our pleasures. Living your best sexual life, because just like we care for our physical and mental health, we must also care for our sexual health.

Sexual Health: a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social wellbeing in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction, or infirmity.

We must start at the beginning—all the way to the day one first learns the word sex. As almost every parent will attest, even the most sexually open ones, talking to kids about sex is not easy. There really is no simple way to G rate sex. But the future of their, and society’s, sexual health depends on it. So have at it!

Then there is the first time. Whether by way of self-pleasure or with a partner. Maybe your first time was young, or perhaps it was after marriage. Maybe it was great, or just mediocre, or maybe it was downright evil. Perhaps sex never appealed to you much. Or perhaps the art of sex fascinates you, and you spend your life exploring it. Whatever your story, it’s ok to talk about it. And try not to judge others. Because, of course, with judgment comes silence. And with silence, often more hurt and pain.

Talking about sex is not just hard between parent and child, it can also be heart-wrenchingly difficult partner-to-partner. Although we cannot tell you the best way to approach sex in your personal life, we can say to you it must be with consent and respect, and that if you talk openly and honestly it will undoubtedly help.

And while we are on the topic of couples communicating about sex, how did it become so much easier for men to talk about sex than women? We can start here: “Paternity is the beginning of male domination. The day that happened, men took possession of women,” said Philippe Brenot author of The Story of Sex in an interview by The Guardian.

Thank goodness we have come far from there! Nonetheless, the fact that the term “women empowerment” still exists is all we need to say on this topic. However, we will add, men and women are both human. So let’s not speak of gender differences but rather continue to speak freely and openly.

We can’t talk about sex without talking about pornography. And with porn comes both good and bad. While rooted in men’s desire to view women as sexual objects and assert dominance over them, today this cannot be said is always the case. On one page abuse and corruption. On another, free-willed women and men who choose to sell sex for a living.

When discussing porn the topic of kids often arises. Most believing it is NOT a healthy way for a child to learn about sex as the lines between fantasy and reality are far too blurred. But let’s be real, porn is not going anywhere, so the next best thing is to talk about it so it can be understood for exactly what it is.

Part of talking is teaching. Sex ed needs to be about learning the rules of sex and relationships—communication, consent, and respect. As Bernot explains in The Guardian Interview, the rules of relationships are not natural to us, we have to learn them. An impossible task without talk.

FROM THE PRACTICAL BABY-MAKING OF IT TO THE LOVE, THE TOUCH, AND THE ROMANCE OF IT. OR PERHAPS YOU PREFER THE KINKIER SIDE OF THINGS; THAT WORKS TOO, AS LONG AS YOU ARE SAFE AND RESPECTFUL TO OTHERS AND YOURSELF. IF WE TALK ABOUT THE GOOD, THE CONSIDERATE, AND THE HEALTHY, MAYBE WE CAN HELP DECREASE THE BAD, THE VULGAR, AND THE ABUSIVE. SO NO MATTER WHAT YOUR OPINION, LET’S TALK!

Feature Photo by Stock_Colors/Getty Images
Article Originally Appeared in Love Happens Volume 5
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