A Mindful Mother’s Day
There’s an elephant in the room and I want to talk about it.
Mother’s Day is typically a joyous time, but the reality is it’s different for everyone. Everyone being the single mothers, teenage mothers, older mothers, adoptive mothers, stepmothers, mothers who faced fertility challenges, mothers who may have dealt with the loss of a child, noncustodial mothers, mothers in custody battles, postpartum mothers, and not to exclude those who may have lost their own mother or have estranged or unhealthy relationships with mom. Mother’s Day can be triggering, painful, and feel very much not so celebratory.
This piece is for the mamas that may have sideways, rollercoaster, mixed emotions during this time. A gentle reminder, this is normal and okay, and you deserve a mindful Mother’s Day.
Everywhere we turn, it’s not uncommon to see overwhelming images of happy moms with happy children, in-your-face ads for flowers, and of course, the curated content on social media of picture-perfect families.
The elephant in the room has entered the chat, here:
Some moms may have an array of feelings that aren’t actually sparkly rainbows covered in unicorn glitter and a big bed of red roses. Mother’s Day may leave some of us with feelings that may include sadness, anger, disgust, depression, anxiety, and/or guilt. Ugh, I know. Not very Hallmark card friendly of me, but very authentically real me, speaking.
Listen mamas, feel all the feels. And those feelings do not have to be masked with Mother’s Day glee. Reality is:
We’re all human and healing. We’re all deserving to feel how we feel without judgment. We all might celebrate differently. We’re all not storybook, holiday happy.
Some of us are sensitive, reactive, weary, dramatic, have attachment and/or abandonment stuff going on, and we may feel vulnerable during this time. But hey, we’re here. Showing up. Every day. Mommin’ like a MF’er.
A few gentle reminders—because, elephant in the room, be gone!
If you’re missing and/or grieving your mom and/or a child. You’re not riding that trauma train solo.
If you’re feeling some type of way because you never became a mother, or maybe it won’t ever happen for you. PSA: There are others who hold the same deck of cards. Poker face not needed.
Maybe you’re angry because you’re a mom who never gets a break, feels underappreciated, and never gets alone bathroom time. Maybe you think you’re a bad mom because motherhood can be one of the toughest hoods, and the mom guilt gets real. You too, are not alone, and maybe we should get cute members-only jackets. Just sayin’.
Emotions are complex. If you find yourself riding the struggle bus, perhaps shooting for a more mindful Mother’s Day could be your best bet at navigating the speed bumps and roadblocks mama’s day might bring.
If you’re looking for a sign, this is it: Mindfulness & Chill
Using mindfulness to manage your feelings is a helpful tool to not let the negativity and suffering live rent-free in your head. That suffrage squatter has been evicted!
5 Tips To Practice Inhaling The Good Stuff & Exhaling the BS:
1. Observe your emotions. Like seriously, sit with it for a minute or two or 10. Over a cup of coffee, if you will, or even doing a little downward dog with it.
2. Experience your emotion as a wave coming and going. Then surf the eff outta that emotion wave! Hang loose, baby girl!
3. Don’t try to push away your emotion or amplify it.
4. Remember, you are NOT your emotion.
5. Practice accepting your emotion and not judging it. Keep that judgey business out of it all.
Listen, life comes at you fast but keep doing the best you can, even in the thick accelerated parts of it. You’ve felt the feels before and got through it once; you’ll get through it again.
Keep your head up, it’s a tough world out there, but you’re tougher than you know.
I want to leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
We are all broken; that’s how the light gets in.
Happy Mindful Mother’s Day to you. Shine on beauties. And I mean, turn the illumination all the way up. You’re gorgeous that way.
About the Author
Jasmín (Jazzy) Nelson is an avid advocate of lovebutton.org which is a non-profit organization promoting a culture of love, inspiring our human family to act with loving kindness in our daily lives. Jazzy is also one of Love Happens longest standing contributors!